I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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