awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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