Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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