He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
