Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
