New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
