Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
