He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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