I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
