why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
