just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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