does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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