You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
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