He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
