We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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