she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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