I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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