What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
