It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he wants to bone in the snuggie
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
