Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
