so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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