It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
