I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
