So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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