My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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