He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
