Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
