don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
