He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
