Already got asked if we're dating
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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