Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
