My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
