I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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