yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
