Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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