fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
