Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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