Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
