Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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