And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
