I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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