We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
