i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I got inside last night via doggy door
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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