yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
