Someone shit on the floor
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
