It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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