ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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