jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The air was thick with penises
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
