Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I would fuck him just for his dog
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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