Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
