I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
